what have I done?

Many of my friends think I'm mad...I'm beginning to think they are right. I've only signed up to a boot camp for 2 days a week ....what's more it's 6:30 in the morning!

bollox

Well I don't know how your week has been but mine has been a veritable roller coaster. I've been bad, I've been sad and I've most certainly been mad.

Now I've had the same medication for 5 days I feel more stable. No night sweat , still a bit tearful but what the hell. I've signed up for boot camp for 2 mornings a week. It will be hard but I need my arse kicking to get the mojo back>

I went to my first full body massage since the cancer - I screamed like a baby! It bloody hurt loads but I feel so great I've booked it again. I now know where I'm carrying my tension - upper arms and shoulders , lower back and bum. Oh and I went after a run so my thighs objected a bit too but not my calves which I think is good. I've got 3 sports massage sessions to come ................I think I will supply them with ear plugs..............I'm a definite screamer!

Oh and the thing that made me so happy this week - I got tickets for George Michael in Cardiff - another thing to cross off on my list of things to do before you die.

The worst possible start

Today I woke feeling totally grim after a really bad night....I may aswell have slept in a swimming pool the night sweats were so bad. Not only no sleep, but a pounding headache and what I can only describe as morning sickness. This is just how it felt when I first started taking the tamoxifen so it's obviously that making me grouchy.

Never mind - I lit my aromatherapy candle swigged on the Aspro Clear and managed to get a couple more hours. No journey to Slough for me today - shame as I was looking forward to meeting up with some dear friends.

Oooh - my appointment is through for my annual check up with my surgeon , that means I'll have to book the mammogram soon, cant believe it's been a almost a year since someone muttered those 3 little words ...you have cancer! Oh well one year on and I'm still here to bitch about it, personally I'm in better shape than I have been for a long time.

Talking of shape - this drugs issue has also affected my exercise mojo :( So I'm doing a boot camp 6:30 am every Tuesday for a month. If that doesn't kick start me I have a feeling nothing will.

I'm seeing a GP  for a moan about the drugs on 31st May - soonest I could get in - but in the meantime there is Madrid to look forward to. In the words of Paddy Cunningham ...'visulise yourself on your next holiday ' well Paddy I can and I forsee beer and brandy involved.

Not Madrid , but Barcelona....that'll be the September trip with the boy!

Oh and I won Euromillions last night - a huge £4.30 ! Drinks all round circa 1950!

It's not good ...I'm gonna have words

I'm really fed up at the moment and it's not like me to be so unhappy. yeah there have been a few things going on in the family, my sisters MIL almost died last week, my neighbour actually did , and my lovely Beths hubby Stephen is still in hospital fighting meningitis............but thats not the reason.

The reason is the Tamoxifen!

I'm so out of sorts its untrue, I now know why. On checking the packaging it turns out the chemist had put mixed brands in the box so I've had no consistency. They obviously have no idea how doing something so simple to them has such an effect on me. To them I suppose Tamoxifen is Tamoxifen , for me it's the difference between being a motivated happy  person and a grumpy de-motivated old hag!

The night sweats are terrible , the day sweats aren't much better either. I think a visit to the Doc is called for....this cannot go on!

This week I'm determined to beat this drug induced torpor and hit 4K! I don't care what anyone thinks I can do this , I will do this and my aim is to add .5k on every week.

The weight loss has stalled too, but I'm not bothered about that...I'm still 2 dress sizes and 2.5 stones lighter than I was when I started this blog :)