Monday 31 January 2011

Remember it's not about weight loss

Today is the first day I have felt human in a few weeks and for those of you that know me well I have been very frustrated at not being able to do the things I've wanted to.

I'm behind on my running schedule , I've missed Zumba and I've become addicted to X Weighted Families on Sky 2. There's nothing quite like the sight if sobbing fat people when you're eating dinner. They get on my tits a bit but it just reinforces that if people want to lose weight it's exercise that's gonna do it.

I'm also liking Biggest Losers and said to Nell if those fat biffas can do it, then the only thing stopping me is me.

But remember I said right at the beginning this is not about weight loss it's about giving me a goal after the cancer.

As it's the last day of the month I thought it was time to jump on the Wii Fit.....having been comfort eating chocs and crumpets coupled with no exercise I wasn't expecting much ......but I've actually lost 9lbs this month. Now that's a bit of a result I wasn't expecting.

They still haven't sorted out when I'm going back to work which is pissing me off a bit , and I'm seeing a counsellor this afternoon. Hope they know what they've let themselves in for!!!

Thursday 27 January 2011

A right telling off

Today I hauled my sorry ass out of bed nice and early, pulled on my training gear and went to the gym.

Alana was waiting with my new routine and she's covered all the bases. She didn't even let me finish the warm up before she told me off for being there and not resting!!! Duly nagged i said I wouldn't do any of the card stuff and she agreed to show me the rest of the routine.

I am a very naughty girl! Golden rule - you do not exercise when you have a chest infection , I have been told. But you know what a fickle fanny I am, I want to get on with this training lark for the 1/2 marathon. I don't want to be behind but I know she's talking sense.

No Zumba again for me this week then :(

Tuesday 25 January 2011

Different day , different drugs

Oh well , this morning trip to the GP was all I could have expected. Different antibiotics and told to take it easy for the next few days.

What a load of bollocks! I couldn't be arsed to tell her about the fact I have a goal to reach and at this rate I'll be 2 weeks behind , I really couldn't be arsed to explain when she said take a few days off work to recover, all the palaver I'm having actually getting back to work! To be quite honest I'm really fed up with it all .I'm cancer free , there's no way something simple like a frigging chest and water infection should be making me feel this shit. Don't they know who I am ?

Suppose the good thing is my blood pressure is normal and although I'm peeing White blood cells , they're not growing anything. The only thing the GP could suggest would be blood tests so I'm booked in again next week.

I've cancelled yoga this afternoon as I'm not in the right frame of mind to handle cheery people , to be quite honest I wish the world would just bugger off!

Monday 24 January 2011

Red tape and bloody noses

I was all set to go back to work today - only for 4 hours but it was a start. So by 9:30 I was showered, dressed with hair all done ready to face the day. At 10 I get a call from the boss , apparently we have to go though Crapcentures return to work process before I can officially start. It's more red tape and paperwork designed to protect us all ....to stop me doing too much too soon , and to give an opt out of I don't cut the mustard. Fair enough, but why will they only accept 'paperwork ' in this digital age ? I hope they'll go on the scanned copy I sent them - looks like I have another 7-10 days to go.

I wasn't going to waste the time so I've cleared down some emails and went on a conference call.

There 's something odd going on in my body at the moment. Ever since the I've started the antibiotics for the chest infection I've been having nose bleeds. I have never had them before in my life ....and I must say I don't like them. Got another docs appointment tomorrow to see what's going on.

Cos of the chest infection I've cancelled my massage for today , didn't think it was fair on either of us!!

I'm hoping to get my running shoes on this week......I can't be falling too far behind!

Friday 21 January 2011

More drugs and Alana says yes!

Went to GP and it turns out I've been harbouring a very nasty chest and water infection. No wonder I feel like shit. I've mega antibiotics and some new sleeping tablets to try so with a bit of luck I'll be on the mend ready to start work on Monday.

On the positive side I went and saw Alana at Bannatynnes for my review. She's so pleased that I'm cancer free and that I've signed up for the half marathon.

She'll put together a plan for me and I'll go see her again on Sunday if I'm up to it.

I'm not feeling too chipper at the mo, but I'm sure once the drugs start to kick in I will be fine

Wednesday 19 January 2011

Best made plans!

Hubby and I have been feeling under par all week. He's got a flu type thing , he doesn't do man flu - he's too much of a man for that , and I have been battling with a very bad chest and cough due to the pollen.

I managed yoga yesterday and a cranial sacral therapy session but I must admit today I'm totally pooped! My head aches, I feel sick and my eyes hurt.

I'm going to be really sensible and put back my training plan by one week, although I'm determined to Zumba tomorrow.

Seeing the GP Friday so she can nag me about my breathing and let me know what the damage is . More drugs to take I expect.

What's really annoying is I was planning to go to Portsmouth this weekend, but now Darius and Mum will have to wait a bit longer .

Monday 17 January 2011

A liitle behind

Due to the general feeling of yuckness and not being able to breathe , I didn't do my second training run last week. My wonderful trainer said I should listen to my body and not push things if it didn't feel right - so I haven't! I think it's important not to put myself off by doing something silly at such an early stage.

So this week I'm on catch up.

Today I had a Thai foot massage and if you've never had one you don't know what you're missing, it's fab! But the BIG news is now I've been declared cancer free I can now have full body again! Fantastic news as I think a few sports massages will be needed along the way to the 1/2 marathon!

Tomorrow I'm gonna try sacral cranial therapy for my breathing , but I'm also seeing the GP Friday as next week I go back to work.

Friday 14 January 2011

Prof knows best

On Wednesday Professor Barrett Lee said he never wanted to see me again. I'm not gonna take it personally coz it now means I'm cancer free!

We had a good old natter about how life will never be the same again , I've been through a lot physically and mentally, and how to come up with strategies for what may don next - like going back to work.

But what we talked most about was my commitment to do this 1/2 marathon. Now some of you out there have severe doubts about whether I should be doing this - Prof knows best and this is what he said.

1- it will make my bones stronger so I am less likely to get osteosprosis
2- it will not increase my risk of the cancer returning
3- the endorphins will make me feel better and help with the early onset menopause
4- my sleep pattern will eventually return and this will help
5- don't drink too much before the start as the loo facilities aren't good , use the bushes if you need to
6- you will be surprised how many people come out to support, there's a real party atmosphere to it

And his final words were - other people will not understand what you've been through, don't try to manage or worry about their fears or dreads. Get on with life and enjoy everyday.

So, I'm following Doctors orders and I suggest you do the same :)

Thursday 13 January 2011

Zumba'd! The pictures say it all


I need to report a crime

It is with a very heavy heart that I need to report Nell Pugh for attempted murder!

It's only training day 1 of week 2 and I m already in fear for my life, today it was walk 3mins then run 2 for a total of 20 minutes. Sounds easy enough but if you've been up since 4am with a cough from hell , it's clear after the first 10 mins that the breathings not working properly . OK so I'm mildly asthmatic at this time of year , but hey so is Paula Radcliffe!

Don't worry Nell , I will get my own back at Zumba tonight and make sure we are in the front row.........

Oh and don't worry , you are the only girl in the family, you'll get all the diamonds anyway !

Wednesday 12 January 2011

Yoga and me - part 1

I don't know about you but I thought yoga was about Lycra, ladies of a certain age ala Felicity Kendal , very middle class and something for skinny minnys with too much time and not enough gin.

How wrong was I! My first class at Bridge Cottage was a scream, there were only 5 of us, all 'damaged goods' in one way or another and I couldn't do any of the moves without laughing out loud , and I mean really out loud. It was like the floor bits of an 80s aerobics class , you didn't know just how much it would hurt until the following day.

What I really didn't expect was that after the stretching etc we would just lie there whilst Mary talked to us about various aspects of life .....that was it ! I found myself lying on the floor in a room of strangers blubbing like a baby. Apparently this is very natural if you're doing it right , the body relaxes to the point of release and anything can happen. Can't see Bannatynes or David Lloyds taking it to that extreme.

This was the best £5 and hour and a half I had ever spent. I went home and slept like a baby only to wake up with a yoga hangover and wondering whether I was emotionally able or ready to go back the next week.

Oh , and yes , today I will do day 1 of week 2 of my training plan!

Tuesday 11 January 2011

And the winner is ..........

Well I've finally announced the charity I will be running for , and it's not one of the big cancer charities................pick yourself up off the floor. It's true in this life you have to pick your battles, I didn't pick breast cancer I just discovered it one day, another thing I discovered back last July was yoga.

Life has many ways of bringing good things into your life but I never imagined a flier through the door would help give my life so much quality. I was just recovering from surgery , thinking of things to occupy my mind and wondering how I was going to cope with the excess of allotment courgettes ,when an unassuming A5 piece of paper fluttered onto the doormat.

Bridge Cottage garden party and open day - all welcome ! I was intrigued by this as Bridge Cottage is only about 400 yards up the road, surrounded by high fences and with a bright yellow sign outside....looked a bit of hippy nonsense to me!

But the sun was out and one resolution I made to myself was that the time off would be put to good use discovering more about where I live. (Thats another story all together!) David and I ambled up the road, went through the gate and it was just like walking into a heavenly glade.

This was my first meeting with the force that is Mary Madhavi.....she has an amazing story to share which I will reveal as we go through, but needless to say she knew my pain, it was like she could see inside my mind and one of the things she said was .....'If you want I can help you, if you dont we can still have some fun........come next Tuesday afternoon and see what we're all about'

Me? Yoga?............but I did like the fun part! So I went......I'm not gonna reveal too much now ....I need you to be on the journey with me to try to understand why I've made my decision.

IPad comes up with a new word to describe me

Nynorsk!!!

I don't know what it means but I'm hoping it's a compliment!

Whatever .....

Coughcoughcoughcough ....wheeze! Yep the Hazel trees are trying to kill me again , my hayfever starts early this year. I wouldn't mind but I am surrounded by early flowering trees so until the fruit blosom comes I'm gonna suffer!

Hey ho , what's that compared to fighting the cancer. I see the Prof tomorrow and need to have grown up conversations about bone density, numb hands, joint pains and going back to work. I'm not sure how he'll react when I tell him about the 1/2 marathon, but he's one of lifes good guys so I'm sure he'll understand.

I'm hoping yoga is on this afternoon as I really need to tell Mary Madhavi of my plans, not only will I need some physical support but I'm gonna need her mentally too, I just hope she's ready for the challenge.

Oh and I've heard there's a major reorganisation going on at work so I may not even have a job to go back to.........on a brighter note I have booked a holiday to meet a facebook friend in Spain...we are going to the Medieval Festival in Tortosa. Life is for living , right???

Oh and happy birthday my lovely trainer Nell Pugh , Daddy will take you out later and I will attempt something on the Wii !

Friday 7 January 2011

2 sessions and a Zumba hangover

What a week! No yoga on Tuesday as Mad Mary is not back from Christmas so I haven't managed to share my plans with her . I'm expecting a wry smile and another 'you should really come on retreat you know'. I just may do that but don't tell het!

Did my first training session - brisk walk for 20 mins which I ended with a cuppa with Rosie. No problem there.

Last night was Zumba and I loved it. What I didn't like was the very sluggish feeling I have today , it's like a hangover without any booze. Hubby feels very slow so we think it may be the last dregs of the Malarone.

I haven't let it put me off , I went to the gym to do session 2. The reason for the gym was just to get the feeling of what running is actually like in a controlled environment. I want to be comfortable that I know what I'm doing before I'm out on my own pounding the pavements. It's like my safety net!

So it's walk for 4 mins run for 1 min and repeat 4 times. Sounds easy! After the first one minute run , which seemed like an eternity , I thought I was going to throw up :( checked the heart rate and it was 156 ..... Oh my god I'm on the verge of dying!

But believe it or not by the time I got to the last minute run I was actually looking forward to it, it went by in a flash.

For those who know about these things and purely to keep a record , ave heart rate 134 , caps 136, distance 1.9k....... Jeez there is a long way to go! Oh well , I never thought it would be easy!

Chin up little Pugh , there's a new training challenge next week......oh and you can reveal all .........

Thursday 6 January 2011

Shake it baby!

Tonight I went to my first Zumba class and if you've never been to one -GO!

It's a lot of sweaty fun, women of all shapes , ages and sizes, from skinny teens to grandma shaped barrels on legs!

I have no co-ordination so this is designed to help me get a rhythm and up my card. I have never laughed so much in my life.

David will be pleased as I should be able to learn to shake my bootee and wiggle my hips like the Christmas dancers. Next week I'll see if Nell can do a before and after snap. Yes that's right - I am going back for more!

So ladies, find a friend , find a class and have the exercise time of your life.

Wednesday 5 January 2011

Go for it!

Today I went to see my wonderful GP to talk about returning to work and my plans for the future.

When I told her about the 1/2 marathon she was over the moon , the best thing for me to do , get on with my life and set a new challenge. The only thing she did say was not to expect her to do it with me! Seriously the endorphins that will be released with the increased exercise will help with the early onset menopause symptoms. After having my hormones stripped drastically from my body I need all the help I can get otherwise I'll be running out of friends PDQ.

Oh and the training started today - 20 minutes brisk walking in the rain x 2. The waterproof hat and gloves are brill and the earflaps cover my earphones so Clare and the community kept me company.

I actually feel like I'm on my way!

Monday 3 January 2011

The shopping !




A good shopping trip - cheap watch from Argos, running tops and base layer from Go Outdoors, and I love the way they all scrunch up so small they have their own little box under the bed!

I'm gonna need a stopwatch

The wonderful Nell has just sent me my first 10 week training plan and very detailed it is too. Doesn't look too daunting but it is designed to get me to continuous running for a 20 minute period ....I feel sick already! At least one ofthe weekly runs has to be done outside , I'm gonna need some kit!

Stopwatch - I need this for timing my minute by minute (have Nike + to do the jazzy stuff)
Long sleeved running tops - I have been recommended base layer
Running jacket ??? I have a Dare2B jacket but it's a bit snug and I have a feeling Im gonna get dirty too!
Running hat and gloves
Socks - I have plenty of stuff in the draw so I don't think I need specialist socks , well not at this stage anyway
Shoes - I have my trainers to start me off that I use in the gym but I may have to get some 'proper' ones - think I'll seek some advice before splashing out!

Go Outdoors have 50% off all running gear today ..... I think I should pay a visit!

Saturday 1 January 2011

Why?

An extremely good friend who knows what at total numptey I can be looked me straight in the eye infront of other people today and asked the dreaded question...........

' What possesed you to sign up for a half Marathon? ' ........simples! 'It's because I can!'

She just shrugged her shoulders , gave me a wry smile and said ' Yes , I suppose you can.'

I'm not sure people are shocked because I'm a middle aged lardy arse who's only other running experience was Race for Life where I was carried along by collective grief , or because I should be taking it easy cos of the Breast Cancer.

Whichever one it is I don't care....I'm doing this for me.....cos I can!

2011-whatever next!

After an early night and no alcohol (very unusual on any day not just New Year Eve) I'm feeling pretty chipper.

The lovely Nell Pugh has yet to present me with my first 10 week plan so I dusted off the wii fit to see how my weight and bmi is doing. After telling me I haven't used the machine for over 300 days and having a technology chuckle to itself the board told me it was time to climb on.

Remember this is not about losing weight! Keep that at the forefront of your mind at all times!!!!

And the winner is ...... 14st 8lb (loss of 9 in a year! And some of that was the tit!!) BMI 36.56 obese ....gosh that's gonna have to change if I want to haul my ass round 13 odd miles !

Result- Wii Fit age 43 which gives me a glimmer of hope.

In the words of Del Boy ' he who dares wins , Rodney'